Relational Life Therapy®

(In-training)

How Does RLT Work?

RLT uses a range of powerful diagnostic and transformative tools to help people to first reconnect to themselves—their feelings, needs, and desires—to build a stronger, more intimate connection with their partner.

RLT Works In 3 Steps:

Step 1: Waking Up

I use loving confrontation to wake clients up to their negative behaviours in a direct but compassionate way. I reveal truths about how they are harming their relationships in a way that builds trust rather than resistance.

Step 2: Healing

We swiftly get to the root of negative behaviours, understand them, and overcome them. Unique to RLT, deep trauma and inner child work is done in the presence of the partner. This allows individuals to go deeper and couples to grow closer.

Step 3: Relational Skills

Couples get equipped with the powerful tools they need to continue building authentic, healthy relationships long after their time in therapy is over—this is the key to creating change that lasts.

Everyone gets to go crazy in long-term relationships, but you have to take turns. I call this relational integrity. It means that you hold the (Wise Adult) fort while your partner goes off their (Adaptive Child) rails. It’s not an easy practice, but it builds strong relational muscles.

Terry Real, Founder of Relational Life Therapy®, Best Selling Author of many books

  1. Swift Results
    Letting therapy drag on can be detrimental to clients, especially those in crisis. RLT uses a powerful combination of techniques to quickly get to the root of negative behaviors, understand where they came from, and teach individuals how to change them.

  2. Dramatic Transformations
    The idea that character is fixed is outdated. Character is changeable, and through RLT, we can teach people to transform negative beliefs and behaviors, often dramatically and sometimes immediately.

  3. Healing Trauma in the Partner’s Presence
    In traditional therapy, trauma work is done individually. But opening up such levels of vulnerability in their partner’s presence helps people go much deeper for more remarkable transformations.

  4. Tackling Shame and Grandiosity
    Modern therapy often focuses on bringing people up from shame. RLT is concerned with both shame and grandiosity to help couples achieve healthy levels of self-esteem—working with both is necessary for relationships and individuals to heal.

  5. Radical Honesty
    We don’t shy away from directly but compassionately telling clients what they’re doing to harm their relationships. We tell them what to do in certain situations so they can have a corrective emotional experience with their partner over and over.

  6. Lasting Change
    Traditional therapy heals through nurture, but this isn’t enough for permanent change. RLT goes even further, equipping people with the lifelong relational skills they need for lasting change.

Ready to Break The Rules of Traditional Therapy?

You cannot love from a one up superior position, you cannot love from a one down inferior position. Love demands democracy.

~Terrence Real, Founder of RLT, Author: Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship

Frequently Asked Questions

  • The first session is 1.5 hrs. Subsequent Sessions are 75 minutes and $150 usd ($180 cad).

  • I will begin by working with you to create a clear assessment of what needs to change for your relationship to thrive. You can expect me to be forthright in calling out each partner’s anti-relational behaviours, and I am committed to and passionate about helping you both succeed. I will also make suggestions for homework between sessions, as relational intimacy is an ongoing practice.

  • Traditional couples therapy may fail to yield results due to its heavy reliance on impartiality. This means the behaviors that are harming relationships often aren’t addressed, so couples can’t make the necessary changes. Like other therapies, RLT teaches relationship skills, but first we deal with the part of you that doesn't want to use them.  RLT seamlessly integrates individual and couple treatment into one therapy to empower you to continue building authentic connections for life.

  • Through RLT, you can profoundly—and permanently—change your individual character. You will identify the roots of your relationship-harming behaviors so that you can turn them around and lock in transformations at a deep level. Once clients experience the rewards of such changes, they rarely return to their old behaviours.

  • As an individual, you can still greatly benefit from understanding your automatic responses in relationships. I will guide you through a process of change and healing, helping you develop new skills so you can enter your next relationship as your most authentic self.

  • Yes ~ All RLT sessions are approached through Luana's expertise in somatic and trauma resolution

The first session is 1.5 hrs and $150 usd ($180 cad) via Zoom or in-person.